My Broken, Plastic Tiara to All
In the beloved words of Three 6 Mafia, “Like Barack Obama said yeah it's time for a change.” I recently moved back to The United States after living in The Far East and The Middle East on the shy side of three years. I left Middle America to venture into the great big world after graduating from Kansas State University and thought that I would never look back. While, here I am back in these great states experiencing extreme reverse culture shock and a case of the “what the f*%^ is going on?”
When my husband and I decided to move back to The US, it was not taken lightly. I have made five international moves in the last five years and know that being a new immigrant is hella freaking hard. My husband is not a citizen of The United States, and I was concerned about the immigration process and all that it entails. The bureaucracy of a move is intensified by 100 when it is international, and you or your partner are not from the country of origin. In the end, we moved to The Golden State, and all has been going well with a few bureaucratic bumps on the way.
As my husband has seen through my eyes the hardness of being a new immigrant in his country, shiksas are not the most popular beings in Israel. We have experienced the hardness, together, of living in The Far East. Moreover, I have seen through his eyes how hard it is to be a new immigrant in The United States, especially now. Whenever you or your partner is not a citizen, or you are both not citizens of the country in which you reside, every time you re-enter said country there is a small bit of fear that one or both of you will not enter. We have experienced this in multiple places with different kinds of visas. Every time we re-enter one of our home countries, the other has to wait on the other side while one of us goes through the long non-citizen line, a big smile and look of relief always crosses our faces when we get the green light to enter into his home or mine.
Anyways, here we are now living in America at the beginning of the new millennium. We live in Northern California, which is known for the likes of Harvey Milk and, some deem her a potential 2020 candidate, Kamala Harris. As a mixed couple, we are lucky that we have not received any personal criticisms for our choice to be together or the fact that my husband has a thick accent and is not an American. This is not to say that we have not been affected by the swastikas and vandalism in Jewish cemeteries. Alternatively, that we don’t get upset by social media posts where people share their stories of being harassed for their religion, gender, sex, sexuality, race, and the list goes on and on. In my eyes, harassment should not be tolerated under any circumstances, even as a defense mechanism.
Michelle said, “When they go low, we go high,” she did not say “when they go low, you go just as low as they did.” I was getting my hair done recently, and I overheard an older woman talking to the hairdresser about THE election she said something along the lines of “those middle-class people in the middle would sure be sorry when their health care goes away”—this was not the worst of it. She then went onto say that she will not be going to Hamilton because it is so expensive and it is not something she is that excited to see but, she did not mind spending $2000 on Springsteen tickets a few years back. Yep, true story.
We often hear stories of women being ostracized because they decided to stay home and take care of their children and then turn around and hear criticisms towards the women who work 60 hours a week when they have three children at home. Feminism is defined as “the advocacy of women's rights based on the equality of the sexes.” Do we all need to have a Mean Girls moment where Ms. Norbury takes us into the gym and ask if we’ve ever been attacked for our beliefs and then everyone raises their hand to see what our problem is? How are we going to be equal with each other when we are criticizing one another for personal lifestyle choices? How are we going to be equal when we’re creating enemies with the people who should be our allies? The biggest question we should ask each other is, “why are you hurting, and what can I do to help?”
I don’t have the answers to these questions, but I think that realizing we have a problem and asking these questions is a good place to start. Equality in America includes women and men of all races, classes, sexualities, and backgrounds. Change starts with you, and it starts with me, let us end this dick measuring contest and start a revolution. Moreover, there is my tiara, a piece for you and you and you too.